Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Project October: Day 31: Last Thoughts

For my final post, I had pondered doing a few different things. I thought I had settled on something of an interview, but as the timing did not work out (which is fine!), I thought I would come in here and do a little last-thoughts reflection type of thing.

I know blogs can have that yummy feeling of confiding and opening up, and in some ways that's why I fell in love with it in the beginning.  I remember when major announcements, deep thoughts, and other reflections on faith, love, death, and all of the above were the norm in the blogosphere.  I remember a blogger opening up about her alcoholism and subsequent divorce. I still remember that very vulnerable post like it was yesterday.  I didn't know this woman, but I felt like the announcement was so personal, it hit me like a bomb going off.

Over the course of this month of blogging non-stop, I have had a few insights which I would like to share.  Sort of a what I learned, etc.

I first of all thought a lot about this phrase: "Tune in."
When you blog everyday, that can make it difficult to tune into your normal daily life and routine.  To be honest, other things that I normally use to tune out my life took second place and it was simply a normal replacement scenario, where blogging took first place.  I would normally be reading more, or probably checking my phone more, or possibly listening to more podcasts and music while cleaning (more!).  But the choice to clean, tune into my life, kids, and normal everyday hobbies definitely took a back seat, and it was noticeable.

Of the self-discovery that happened from putting out a blog post everyday, I think I started to feel like a) I do love writing very much and I could do it everyday b) I felt a twinge of being overbearing {{which is the nature of the beast}} and c) despite the "distraction" piece, which is certainly an issue or at least something to weight into the whole picture, when you are forced to do something everyday, it might feel like a burden, except when it is a gift that comes naturally, therefore you feel  "God's pleasure" ---to quote the Olympian Eric Liddell- a strong Christian who did all for God's glory, and said he indeed felt God's pleasure when running.

From having to check in and write here on the blog, I did a lot of thinking about inspiration.  Honestly, the greatest* source of inspiration was my own blog.  I came to a place where I was very thankful for my somewhat meager, sporadic offerings of the past, because I could just search a keyword either on my blog's homepage, or within blogger, to find my thoughts about every little last jot and tittle of my life since Molly's birth TEN years ago!  Ha.  When you look at it that way, I have achieved much, even if I'm no entrepreneur in the truest sense, and despite the fact that my success is by no means measured in huge terms right now!

Journalling as method is a discipline, and it is one I will continue.  I will continue to blog as well, but I'm not sure what it will look like in the future.  I will surely continue to write, and I hope that among the various outlets where my writing has been received, some will continue to blossom and flourish.  I think through writing, I have been able to touch on and truly discover my passions.  I love to critique music, art, books, and culture.  I love to share my favorite finds with my friends, family, and blog readers.  I also love to share my heart and life with you as well.  I pray that God will grant wisdom in the future on how to do all of this well, on down the road.

If you went on this "great pilgrimage" with me, I thank you.  It has been fun.  It has been somewhat dreamy to do what I passionately love to everyday.  I truly mean it when I say I'm over the moon about being a writer, and I hope that my willingness to open up has touched even just one person.  I feel like I also want to say here that I got violently ill on two different occasions during the month of October.  The first was in the very beginning.  Madeleine came down with a throw-up bug on Frances' birthday, and poor thing passed it to me.  Then on Sunday night of this past weekend, I threw up eight times after eating some pork and let's just say that it was unpleasant

GOD bless.

*When I say 'greatest' I have to clarify that being bookish is probably the biggest source of mental stimuli for me on a daily basis. When talking strictly about finding ideas for blog posts, my own blog came in very handy.


No comments: