Friday, November 18, 2016

Pregnancy Recap in 7QT~ The Art and Science


Have you talked to someone (anyone) recently who has been pregnant six times? If not, then pull up a chair next to me, so we can talk about the art and science of being pregnant, (cough cough) again.

~1~

Suffering from fatigue, nausea, and just general weariness? Eat a banana and then eat another one. Yep, eat two in a row. Drink gallons of water. When you feel sick, do these two things plus drink juice and eat a bowl of cereal. Or two. Have raisins and prunes or other dried fruit on hand, for those times when you can't stomach a banana. If all else fails, sling back two heaping spoonfuls of applesauce and go to bed. Keep all of this in mind and it should help your morning sickness *and* your terrible attitude tremendously.

~2~

You will cry about anything and everything. Normal, kind people will appear rude and unworthy to grace your presence. You will have weird personal space attacks when someone sits too close to you or right in front of you in Mass. You will call your husband, crying. You will say, "I'm super hungry and tired and I don't feel like doing anything. I finished my book, what should I do now that I have a babysitter?" This is normal. You will end up going grocery shopping. And then you will eat three more bananas and a gallon of water.

~3~

You will look and feel bloated 99.9% of the time. Try not to think about self; think about how you're doing this for baby and it will all be worth it in the end. Even if you feel ugly. All the time. Even if the pants you really like, couldn't wait to pull out for winter, and didn't expect to wear while pregnant this season just. do. not. fit. I'm sure we all have something we could change about our bodies. When you're pregnant you just roll with. it. all. The end.


~4~

When you go the doctor, they will start scheduling your appointments like every other day. After having a midwife, this is culture shock. Take your pre-natals, get lots of sleep, take naps whenever you can squish them in.  If this baby is your sixth and you have had experience with endless doctor visits and midwives (and you know the difference), just try to put off that first appointment for a couple more weeks. If you feel healthy, accidentally schedule them an extra week apart. You will need the wiggle room. You know exactly what they're going to say every single time. A midwife will be super hands-off and laid back. The doctor will be the extreme opposite. Bear this in mind.

Disclaimer: this is *only* if you feel healthy and have no weird warning signs about your health or energy levels!!

~5~

You will let your kids have extra screen time. Like, let's-just-turn-on-another-one during your First Trimester. (I think I'll call it First Trim(e)?). You will nod off. You will sneak upstairs to your bed. You will feel extremely guilty about it!!! Because of all the things you have done, like art camp and tea parties and homemade dinners you will not care if people judge you for it!!! (Ok, ok a little bit- you'll get a babysitter for some of these moments!). Music and audiobooks for kids come in handy in the car, though. Now if only your kids would sit still for these things so that you can take a nap.  Nope. A movie afternoon it is... night night. Did I mention that we have been having forest fires in our area as a result of no rain? This means it is smoky outside and we have been told not to play outdoors because of poor air quality. And did I mention that in Tennessee, it is as dry as a bone?!


~6~

You will ponder pulling over to the side of the road to take a cat nap. Like when you're only driving the short amount of time between home and school. You'll think about putting your head on the steering wheel at each and every stoplight. This comes to a head after a doctor's appointment in which the nurse took (a lot of) your blood. This would have been manageable with two bananas and water, but your daughter can't find her leotard and you drive to the store to buy her a new one. You don't have your purse. In a stupor, you drive home and ransack the house for 20 minutes, unable to find leotard but you do have your purse. You drive back to the store, kids in tow, to buy her another leotard, this time with your purse. You think of how nice it would be to have a blanket and a pillow in the driver's seat with you in case you ever decide to pull over.

You seriously contemplate these lyrics (from this song) every single time you drive:

"Hearing your voice in the blue light,
calming people in the house,
traveling upstairs -
good to be there
now, right now

Oh, I'm near to sleeping, I'm keeping awake.
Oh, I'm near to sleeping, I'm keeping awake,

hearing your voice in the house, in the house,
hearing your voice in the house

Under those trees we will all be
sitting, blankets down.
It's tomorrow, yes it is.

My room is held in someone's arms,
my bed is held in someone's arms.
I am-I'm held now

In the house,
in the heart of paper vines,
Junie runs into her room
next to mine, Dancing.
And we are all in for the night.
Talking is coming,
is coming up over the stairs."
(-the innocence mission from the amazing album "Glow")

~7~

You will have super-power / super-Mom moments where you actually get so much done, you think pregnancy is the reason and inspiration for this "new you." You'll look around and think: I have no idea where that little burst of energy came from, but I will take it because I am a hero(!!!) And then the slump will come back-- reminding you that you are, indeed growing a little human inside you. This lasts until you start buying ten tons of fresh fruit and vegetables and ingesting them like there's no tomorrow. (This is called Second Trimester).  Early bedtimes are not above reproach, and let's admit once and for all that that's where the super powers are coming from!;-)

#theartandscienceofpregnancy

adding my link to Kelly!

2 comments:

Wendy said...

Praying for you from near Hyattsville! I think I had my sixth when you lived here.

I ended up falling into a pattern: exhausted day, rested, didn't anything done, followed by a day with more energy in which I tried to make up for lost time, which set me up for an exhausted day... By the sixth pregnancy I even knew exactly what was happening, but I couldn't break the pattern! Because, you know, you have 5 kids on the outside that need stuff!

Anyway, I love your banana idea and I'll be praying for you!

Tacy said...

Yes! Thank you for the prayers. I think we alternate between days I'm tired and they turn on the tv, and days I'm tired and they play IPad! Hahaha.😉