Friday, October 16, 2015

INFP For the Win (Or: Personalities and Parenting: 7 Reasons Why You Should Know Your Personality Type Before You Have Kids) ~ 7 Quick Takes



I’m an INFP and Type 7 on the Enneagram charts.  That means I’m Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving, and I’m called an Enthusiast by Enneagram enthusiasts. ;) I’m in good company with being INFP- I know of at least three- but not sure about other Type 7’s in the blogosphere. For more quick references for understanding personalities typing/types/your type, see my Personalities Pinterest board> there are a few really helpful at-a-glance graphics there.

In addition to Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram, also like to make the personality distinction between sanguine and melancholic, two terms a trusted friend of mine used to use to sum up most people she knew.  If you were sanguine, according to her, you were happy-go-lucky type, able to see the positive in anything, and not easily bothered or tethered by others’ emotions, or your own, for that matter.  This personality type makes positions of leadership or “getting the job done” natural.  The optimism associated with this personality type causes some to have consistency and diligence.

Melancholic types, on the other hand, are often easily worn out, perhaps not leader types, who get sidetracked by emotions or sensitivity to others’ emotions, making “showing up to the job” tiring and difficult, at times.  I am, of the two terms, much more easily identified with melancholic, or tendency to sadness or feeling sad. I think that some people believe a certain training can change your type, but the truth is, if it’s your personality, you will probably always bear characteristics of sanguine or melancholic types.

What are the characteristics of the Melancholic Enthusiast INFP type, and why is it important to know and get a handle on your own specific type before having kids?  If you didn't find out your personality type until recently, don't despair- you can still catch up!

(1) For when you’re in labor and stuffff/stuph…

When I was in labor most recently, in early labor, all I wanted to do was listen to my iPhone podcasts.  Being a highly sensitive INFP (Emphasis on the P- perceiving- in this case), I could perceive that my nurse midwife was not happy.  You could cut awkward tension with a knife, from my viewpoint. I found it exhausting, while other personality types (i.e. my husband) would find it boring, but not emotionally charged or changed by others’ words or attitude.

(2) For when your newborn infant is needy…

A highly intuitive and perceiving person has a complex personality and will easily be overwhelmed by a newborn baby.  The desire for perfection, for sensing her child’s every need, will easily become a temptation to exhaustion. On the bright side, this type of Mother’s Personality is never bored.

(3) For when you go to the playground and the other Moms be like: “Whassssup”…

An introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving will want all to be perfect, because she lives in ideals. However, her shortcoming is most definitely over-analysis and a tendency to feel withdrawn in certain social situations, in particular, public places where strangers abound. This tendency/problem is often and frequently compounded by tiredness and/or hormones.  Basically, taking your kids to the crowded playground is akin to the INFP’s (and just in general, the introvert's) worst nightmare.

(4) For when you’re trying to understand your toddler’s antics…

In this case, an INFP may have an edge up.  That’s because this personality, despite its drawbacks and melancholy, is very creative.  She might have ideas for new apps to download for her toddler. She may be good at coming up games and love to have fun with her toddler…. at home, in peace. With a few really good books and some simple toys or dare I say it, a game of cars or trucks or even trains. But sometimes, you just want to curl up in a ball in the bathroom with a tub of ice-cream, and y’know, when it’s time to take a break, that’s okay too. ;)

(5) For when you discuss your kids’ behavior with your spouse…

and you want to (see number 4). No really, for prep to an in-depth discussion, you might spend hours reading or searching online. This is because you are an Enthusiast/Idealist, and so you're committed to being the best Mom you can be, and you're willing to risk everything to get there.

(6) For when your newly minted Preschooler wants Mommy to come on a field trip...

and you’re like Okaaaaay… but your reticent and reserved nature makes you really just want to hide.  You might do it anyway (because you have to), but it means exercising your unnatural friendly muscles and being strong in many of the areas where you are weak.

(7) For when your second grader wants to attend every birthday party known to man...

and you experience the feeling that you want to retreat into yourself, then go grab a coffee and sit there with a book for several hours!  Making friends isn't impossible for your personality type, it might just look different from the next talkative Mom working a room at a birthday party!  A quiet leader is a leader and a friend, just the same. She just looks different from your typical leader and friend.

The golden rule of Personalities & Parenting is  Don’t Compare Yourself to Others.

Based on THIS MEME I’m very inspired to stick to this writingnthing. I considered doing Nanowrimo again this year, because I need to have something “for me” …. something for my down time. However, I have several personal goals I'm trying to stick to this year, so it will have to wait another year!
adding my link to Kelly @ This Ain't The Lyceum

3 comments:

October Rose said...

Did you know that there are two other personalities to round out the melancholic/sanguine opposites--choleric and phlegmatic. The other two corners of the square, so to speak. :) I loooove the four temperaments so much, even more than Myers-Briggs!

Amy Wiggin said...

This is so fun. I am an ENFJ all day every day. My husband and I took Myers Briggs together in marriage prep.

The most important part for us was saying okay here is how we are different how can this be a strength in our marriage? What do we need to be aware of?

Now I need to think it through for mama-hood! Thanks for writing!!

Tacy said...

Now that you mention it, I did know that but forgot while writing this!;)